Midnight train to Budapest

Prague to Budapest via the midnight train.

Sounds romantic.

Any such illusions are shattered...it's funny when the mind conjures up this picture and reality comes and bites.

I decided that trains might be more efficient.  though they take longer, you can either get to see some of the countryside or, if overnight, get a sleeper.  The main train station in Prague is 10 minutes from my apartment by tram.  It costs me around Kc 4500 for a first class sleeper ticket (that's NZ$250).  While that seems fairly expensive (at least to me) it does give me a sleeping compartment and gets me into the centre of Budapest first thing in the morning.  The train departs at midnight and arrives at 0830 next day. 

So, some good things about the trains.  You show up 20 minutes beforehand (as long as you have your seat/carriage booked), you don't nee to fill out any immigration forms, check your luggage in or go through airport security.  When you arrive, you are typically in the heart of the city of your destination (i.e. the main train station) so you avoid costly taxi fares into the city.

While the local Prague metro and pubic transport is spotless and punctual to the second, those are not traits shared by the national rail system. 

The train hauls into the station 20 minutes late.  There are a throng of people on the platform - many do not have specific seats booked so there is a mad rush to get on board and secure the best seat for the 8 hour journey.  I am less concerned as have paid the premium for first class and a sleeper carriage.  There is no conductor in sight.  There are three official looking staff at various carriages. 

In the old world in some cultures, legend had it that the planets were on the back of a large elephant that was invisible to the planets inhabitants though ferried the universe along its path.  Now imagine the same with each carriage on these trains.  It takes me two conversations with two conductors to realise that this is the best analogy at play here. 

While there was a useful diagram at the ticket office of which carriages were which, what the seating was and where you could find your particular seat/carriage, it bore absolutely no basis in reality to this train.

 I walk up to the first conductor (in the throng of people) and show him my ticket.  "Where is this carriage please? " He looks at my ticket and shrugs.  "You go down there." he says, waving to the tail end of the train about 8 carriages away.  I duly haul my pack and backside down to that end of the train and show my ticket to that conductor.  "No!,", these last two carriages are for Vienna destination passengers only.  You go up there please." He waves in the general direction of the first conductor I spoke with.

I duly return to my starting point.  Showing the ticket to the first conductor I say "You told me to go down there.  That's Vienna passengers only.  Can you please tell me where to find my carriage?"  He smiles and shrugs.  "I don't know," he replies in a frustrated voice.  "This," he points behind him...this is my carriage and you are not on this one.  Maybe you go up there."  He waves me toward the front of the train. 
 If it wasn't midnight and 5 minutes before the train was due to leave I would probably be seeing the funny side of this. 

I realise that these conductors are each responsible for their own planets (loosely in the guise of a train carriage they are the steward of).  They have little or no knowledge of the other planets in their universe nor of the large elephant upon whose back they will be charging off toward their next destination very soon.

I go up to the carriage at the front of the train.  Luckily (well, more like a process of elimination and Murphy ensuring it was the 3rd attempt) I have finally found my carriage.    There are numbers written on pieces of paper in biro taped to the compartment door that correspond with the number on the tickets.  I walk through the train until I find my country on this planet - a 1.5m x 2m cabin with two bunks, a sink and a storage cupboard.  Two bunks, three numbers on the door. This is going to be fun. 

As it turns out, whoever the other two random numbers were meant for never actually showed up and I had the room to myself.  Any notion of sleeping was thwarted by the eastern European railway infrastructure.  TGV and London to Paris this is not. 

It was an experience and one that I will repeat, though this time it will be with eyes wide open (a bit like my sleeper).